Jan 17, 2016

A tribute to ALL MOMS!

To bring up (a child) with care and affection.
  1. "the art of mothering"

To the women who planned their perfectly timed pregnancies, those who were taken by surprise and those who went through years of trials and patience to achieve a pregnancy - we congratulate you. 

To the women who became Mothers by opening their lives and homes to children who grew inside their hearts instead of their wombs - we congratulate you.  To the women who care for a child with nourishment, love and affection - we celebrate your motherhood and congratulate you, too.

Motherhood is sisterhood, and no matter how we all got here - we are here together.  We {need to} celebrate each other, support each other and share love for the beautiful art of mothering.  

Mothers make extreme and prolonged sacrifices in the name of love.  We sacrifice our bodies to bring children into the world, to nourish them during and after.  We sacrifice our relationships as we dedicate time to our children and their budding relationships.  We sacrifice our sleep, our financial lives, self-identity, careers, education, social lives and so much more - all in the name of being a Mom.  

To those of us who find enrichment in these sacrifices, we honor you.  

To those of us who struggle with these sacrifices, we honor you.  
We all walk different paths, have different struggles and challenges that are unique to us and our homes and it is so important for all of us to remember that as we support each other instead of judge.  We all have struggles, each and every one of us.  The origin of our struggles shouldn't define us - but the fact that we charge through them and keep "Momming On" should.

To the Mom who feeds her child: You are doing everything right.  Breast or Bottle, the end result is that your child is nourished and will live, thrive and grow.  

To the bottle-feeding Mom: We praise you.  We praise you for feeding and nourishing your child.  For making the decision that was best for your family regardless of what society has to say about it.  We send hugs to you for all of the times you've had to defend your decision or wonder if you made the right choice.  You did.  We share in the shame for all of the times you felt shamed for this - but not because it was the wrong choice, instead because 'we' as people sometimes think it's okay to impose our decisions and beliefs on other people, when actually it's not.  We share in all of the celebrations and trials that led up to this decision for you, even if it's not what you planned on from the beginning - and even if it is.    

To the breastfeeding Mom: We praise you.  We praise you for feeding and nourishing your child.  For making the decision that was best for your family regardless of what society has to say about it.  We send hugs to you for all of the times you've felt like your only purpose was to make milk.  It's hard to feel that way, but we hope you know it's not.  We send hugs to you for all of the nights you couldn't ask for anyone to take over a feeding even though you really needed the sleep.  For all of the times you found a time and place to pump milk and nurse on demand.  We share in the shame for all of the times you felt like you needed to hide away in bathroom stalls, under blankets or coats and in rooms away from where you actually needed or wanted to be.  Not because you should have felt shamed - but because you did.  We share in the shame that someone made you feel that way.

To the Moms who feed their kids, period: You're doing it right.  Organic, Conventional, Gluten Free, Whole Grain - whatever you choose - you chose it.  People make different choices for different reasons and just the type of food that fills our kitchens don't define us.  We don't walk the same paths.  You never know why someone is choosing the food that they are choosing.  As long as we are doing our research and making sure that our children are receiving the proper foods that their bodies need to be healthy - we are doing the right thing!  No one is superior or inferior based on the meals that grace their dining tables at the end of the day.  All that matters is that bellies are fed and the babes are healthy.    

To the working Mom (which means all of us): We honor you!  You work hard!  It doesn't matter if you work inside the home or outside.  It doesn't matter if your paycheck goes to a bank account or if your pay is in hugs and kisses at the end of the day.  You work.  You make sacrifices, you have to juggle, prioritize and sometimes it's just downright hard and exhausting.  Regardless of the setting in which our work takes place, we should recognize and honor each other for the hours we put in.  Moms don't get time-off or vacation days from being a Mom.  Even if your child isn't within arms length - you're still a Mom.  You're still worrying, caring, loving. Always.  Our job never ends.  Cheers to you for the endless work you conquer.  You are awesome.  You matter. You are enough and you most certainly and undoubtedly do enough!  Your choice to work inside our outside the home do not define your abilities or the quality of your Motherhood and never will. 

Praise to the Mom of a baby girl wearing frilly dresses and pink bows - yet still hears: Cute baby! Boy or girl?

Praise to the Mom of a baby boy in trucks, footballs and dinosaurs.  We feel your pain to acknowledge someone saying how cute SHE is!

Props to the Mom who doesn't give an F about what bits and pieces their child has.  That doesn't feel the need to dress the baby one way or the other because it doesn't matter anyway.  Dresses don't make your baby any more of a girl than what she's got on right now.  

Props to the Mom who is playing dress-up with her little one.  It's fun to get to re-experience that child-like joy of dressing your baby up in this and that and adoring them for it.  It doesn't take anything away from your babys personality or value to dress them up and don't let anyone shame you for 'focusing on appearance.'  It's not that deep!

Props to the Moms who embrace the princess culture and those who don't. For those of us who save for months to buy a new dress or suit for every holiday, and for those of us who find value in saving for something else instead.  Our choices are okay and no one can say otherwise!  It doesn't make you and more or any less of a parent.  I promise you that! How we dress our babies isn't what's important - just that they are guarded against the weather when needed!  

For the Mom at the park on her cell phone - we honor that well deserved break you're taking.  We know you checked your surroundings to ensure the safety of your child before you took a quick look.  We're sorry that insecurities of others surround you and judge you for not having 100% of your focus on your child at all times.  None of us do.  In one way or another, we are all distracted at times.  

For the Mom who left her cell phone in the car at the park - we honor you.  We honor that you felt the need to ensure that an extra connection was being made today.  That you wouldn't be taken away from the moment.  Whatever situation led to you feeling this way today - we honor it.  It's important to self-reflect sometimes and it takes a lot of courage to know that you need to set limits on yourself.  

Whatever your parenting style, as long as your child is loved and safe - you are doing it right.  As moms, and as part of this sisterhood of being a mom - we recognize that it is hard sometimes.  We know you struggle sometimes.  We do too.  We know you cry sometimes.  We do too.  There is no shame in this game - we are real people and we have good days and bad days!  That doesn't make us good moms or bad moms!  It makes us MOMS!

There is far too much judgement in this world of being a mom.  Other moms thinking they've got it all figured out and feel like they need to impose the decisions they made on us.  We don't have to let them.  It is okay for you to stand up for your decisions and efforts and not feel shamed for them.  It is also okay for you to let your defenses down long enough to hear and appreciate another moms perspective, even if it wouldn't work for you or if it doesn't apply to you.

Sometimes we are so busy thinking of what we are going to say next in response to what we are hearing, that we are not actually listening.  When a struggle exists and is identified, it doesn't mean it's directed at you.  It's just being addressed in general.  Try not to find yourself in a position to have to defend YOU based on what THEY are saying.  If it applies to you, great.  If it doesn't, great.  The bottom line is that we can all learn from one another not because this person is doing it better than us and we have to learn from them.  But because it is enriching for us to know how and why other people do what they do.  It is also enriching for us to accept and support the decisions they make - even if we wouldn't make them for ourselves.

Whether you're judging or you're the one feeling judged - it's important to know that judgement stems from somewhere.  Judgement either comes from someone feeling the need to defend themselves, or from someone who feels extremely passionate about something and doesn't know how else to project the information they want to share and their passion is taken as judgement.  But most importantly - the feeling of judgement comes from inside you:

We celebrate you, value you and appreciate you.


With love from Metro Detroit Mommy
Blogger: Robin Slawnyk 

No comments :

Post a Comment